ALASKA

 

I had a great day of surfing in my cubicle

I found a California fixer these days it ain’t that hard

and I set a move date back to the lower 48

I need a new chapter I’m over Alaska

The Butte county beauty was never lost on me

we used to drive the levees and soak up scenery

skeletal orchards decrepit towns

the low sun aglow on the slow Sacramento

Keep heading west and you’ll end up back east

keep trying to bet yourself and you might just get beat

I’m gonna look down south there’s a sentiment I’m after

It’s back down the Alcan I’m over Alaska

 

Derek Senn – vocals, acoustic guitar

Damon Castillo – electric guitar

Kristian Ducharme – wurlitzer, B3

Paul Griffith – drums, tambourine

 

HOW COULD A MAN

 

She’s a yogi she’s a reader she’s an unapologetic eater a carnivore poor pigs cows and chickens

she’s even-keeled until crossed  that’s when dishes get tossed

don’t bequeath your fine china to her she’s a laundress she’s a gourmet chef

an EMT she won’t shy away she’ll suture cuts she’ll pick a tick right off your nuts

if you puke your guts out she’s there to console you she hates treadmills and gyms

loves open water swims hiking biking camping bodysurfing

she rode her Bianchi through the Portuguese wine country full self-supported

she lived in Argentina she’s a trilingual gringa she cursed her way through a natural birth

she’s got perfect skin and when her fallopian tubes were tied God cried a tear

and how could a man not fall completely x3

she’s a cumbia dancer she thinks TV’s a cancer  she loves to spar intellectually

she’s up for anything so no BS she will go anywhere there is an adventure

if you ask her to learn to play the drums and go onstage

she’ll learn to play the drums and go onstage

and someone once tried to test her well into her third trimester

he said you wanna go to Ko Lipe she said OK

and they rode that boat for hours and hours through that black Thai night

while he puked into the sea and she held him and consoled him and earnestly told him

I’ll take care of you if you take care of me

and how could a man not fall completely x3

in love

 

Derek Senn – vocals, acoustic guitar

Damon Castillo – bass, electric guitar

Kristian Ducharme – wurlitzer, juno, moog

Paul Griffith - drums

 

BOTOX

 

The gal down the block just got botoxed

she’s driving her Porsche off to where her horse

sleeps with the chickens

she will disagree the concept of free comes from within

She won’t let him go to see the horse show

there’s no magic pill it makes her too nervous when he’s there

so she takes a nip the horse takes a trip and goes under

 

Derek Senn – vocals, acoustic guitar, electric guitar, harmonica

Damon Castillo – bass

Kristian Ducharme – piano, mellotron, wurlitzer

Paul Griffith - drums


BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR

 

It sounded nice to have peace and quiet

a break from the kids so we shipped them off to camp katydid

and then we had peace and quiet just the wife and me

so we shared a medical brownie

and we spent our quiet evening in the fetal position

be careful what you wish for we used to be hardcore not anymore be careful what you wish for

and then we went to the bar for a drinky we threw back a couple next to  a kinky couple

they said do you want to party at our place where we can uncouple so we can quadruple

we said thanks but we’ve got to go we really like to watch the antiques roadshow

be careful what you wish for we used to be hardcore not anymore be careful what you wish for

and then we got around to resuscitating our rock-n-roll dream

and so we dusted off the drums and amplifiers back before kids we were good we used to gig

but before we even made it through half a song

our neighbor chuck came along and sounded the gong

and we picked up the kids today they both said camp was great so we booked next years dates

how can we miss them if they don’t go away

but they’ll soon be gone forever at least they had better

and we’ll have quiet be careful what you wish for

because I wanted it to speed up more when they were 3 and 4

not anymore be careful what you wish for

 

Derek Senn – vocals, acoustic guitar, electric guitar

Damon Castillo – bass, electric guitar

Kristian Ducharme – B3

Paul Griffith – drums, shaker

Larry Kim - saxaphone

 

HAVE A NICE DAY

 

My 12,992nd day dawns balmy and gray same as the previous day

alarm bell wake up do my hair and make-up what to wear today

white and light gray same as the previous day

I pop my prescription and swallow the cliché cherish every day

and I cling to it like flotsam from the shipwreck of my shattered expectations

have a nice day have a nice hum drum day I’m all dolled up for the dull day

have a nice day have a nice hum drum day I’m all dolled up for the dull day

my 12,997th day and one thing is for sure I’m gonna get a pedicure

and it’s time for a shake-up I’m tossing all my make-up

I’m going to go cruelty free it’s just more me

and I can almost taste the freedom as soon as the kids ship off to school

I’m gonna do some cyber shopping with my chai then its rose by the racquet club pool

have a nice day have a nice hum drum day I’m all dolled up for the dull day

have a nice day have a nice hum drum day I’m all dolled up for the dull day

 

Derek Senn – vocals, acoustic guitar, electric guitar

Damon Castillo – bass

Kristian Ducharme - juno

Paul Griffith - drums

 

THE NUCLEAR FAMILY

 

She wanted a ring and a proposal I got her one made her one

a couple kids on a cul-de-sac so we made some and bought on one

and the disconnect it crept in in imperceptible ways

and slowly the corrosion ate through our better days

and once we put the kids down we go our separate ways

I slip down to my home office stare at the screen and say

estoy aburrido ya no la quiero quitate la blusa y la minifalda te juro que te quiero

last night was relatively civil and then we go into the wine

I’ve been hoarding my last Percocet tonight I’m gonna feel just fine

the kids are on their consoles I taught them how to play

let’s spend the nights together in our own virtual way

the nuclear family meltdown is underway

I slip into my fallout shelter stare at the screen and say

estoy aburrido ya no la quiero quitate la blusa y la minifalda te juro que te quiero

 

Derek Senn – vocals, acoustic guitar, electric guitar, hand claps

Damon Castillo – bass, hand claps, keyboards

Kristian Ducharme – B3

Paul Griffith - drums

 

BABYSITTER

 

Two under two let me tell you what you’re missing sleepless nights night after night

a fear of flying but not because of terrorists diarrhea vomit and pee

a milking mechanism milking mommy’s mammaries

but tonight it’s all good yeah tonight it’s alright because we’ve got a babysitter

and I’m up here up on the stage singing my songs playing guitar

my old lady’s over there she’s sitting in a booth in a red plush booth having a drink

we’re living it up we’re out on the town we’re having a ball we’re painting the town

we’re letting our guard down because we’ve got a babysitter

and my left side pocket is aflutter aflitter incoming call from the babysitter

expecting the worst I don’t want to pick up because my buzz is kicking in I’m on my third cup

and for just a sliver of a night I don’t want to be Mr. Responsibility

But I’ve got to pick up because I’ve got to know is it is or is it isn’t copacetic in the home

babysitter says everything is fine but your boy Charlie Roy  won’t stop crying

I say put him on the line I’ll stop him from crying by singing him his favorite nursery rhyme

it goes he’s having a dance party Charlie Roy he’s having a dance party

he’s gonna wiggle wiggle wiggle and jiggle jiggle jiggle

cuz he’s having a dance party Charlie Roy he’s having a dance party

and I’m up here I’m up on the stage I’m singing my songs I’m playing guitar

my old lady’s over there she’s sitting in a booth in a red plush booth she’s having a drink

we’re living it up we’re out on the town we’re having a ball we’re painting the town

we’re letting our guard down letting our guard down letting our guard down

because we got a babysitter

 

Derek Senn – vocals, acoustic guitar

Damon Castillo – bass, electric guitar

Kristian Ducharme – B3, rhodes

Paul Griffith – drums, tambourine

 

PRETTY THINGS

 

So the leaves have turned and fallen fifty times since my birth

and the trees will wait out the winter buds will break come the thaw

some trees will die and decompose I’ll chainsaw one to heat my home

when I was a boy my Labrador died I reckoned I’d see her on the other side

I asked my priest will she go up to heaven he said no

so she remained inside a box inside a drawer next to my socks

when it’s my time should I be burned I don’t want to be shelved in an urn

scatter me up here at the lake bring instruments and have a raucous wake

I’m sitting here in my cabin with my woman and my cat

we’ve got each other books and a guitar you don’t need much we’ve come to learn that

the days are shorter and there’s and arctic breeze and we’re enveloped in crimson maple trees

and I took her ashes and spread them in the meadow

she really liked it there so it seemed apropos

and it will soon be a sea of snow and after the break-up pretty things will grow

after the break-up pretty things will grow

 

Derek Senn – vocals, acoustic guitar, keyboards, harmonica

Damon Castillo – bass, electric guitar

Kristian Ducharme – B3

Paul Griffith – drums, tambourine

 

COLD CALLING CAN

 

I’m on the clock I’m working on a catchy chorus I’m on the clock I’m working on my first verse

I’m on the clock inspiration can’t wait cold calling can cold calling can

the melody’s fleeting hurry up call and sing the melody’s fleeting to the answering machine

the melody’s fleeting inspiration can’t wait cold calling can cold calling can

and when we’re living in the poorhouse we’ll be singing the songs I made up on the clock

and you can’t ignore the signal when the signal kicks you out of your house

I know trust me I know

I’m having a lackluster quarter monetarily speaking but glory be musically I’m rich

yeah I’ve got four new kick-ass songs already and get this

this morning at the sweet shoppe I started a fifth

and there ain’t a damn thing the Fed head can say when they grill him up on the hill today

to undermine their worth one iota because they’re mine and that’s that

yum I made them from scratch yeah I own them free and clear no loans or liens are attached

and if  we sink into depression I’ll just make us up a happy batch

and when we’re living in the poorhouse we’ll be singing the songs I made up on the clock

and you can’t ignore the signal when the signal kicks you out of your house

 

Derek Senn – vocals, acoustic guitar, electric guitar

Damon Castillo – bass, electric guitar

Kristian Ducharme - moog

Paul Griffith – drums, doumbek

 

THE SONG MINE

 

Deep inside the song mine blasting away looking for a vein

it’s just about tapped out deep inside the song mine

I wish it produced more I wish it fed my family of four

but I still find the occasional nugget deep inside the song mine

what’s that above melodious and glimmering

it looks like a chorus shiny and shimmering

my grandpa was one as was his son I hope my boy will follow

cuz I can think of nothing finer than the life of a song miner

but mining verses has its curse

and during this latest extraction something calamitous happened

as I was looking for the words to milk this metaphor

an avalanche of clichés blocked all the exit ways

and I was stuck down there for days I couldn’t get past those clichés

and then the caged bird died deep inside the song mine

so that song never saw the light of day it’s forever entombed in cliché

sometimes you hit the motherlode sometimes your head explodes

looking for the right line deep inside the song mine

and some say it’s just dumb luck yeah but you still have to show up

so I’ll just keep on digging next to Old Man Prine deep inside the song mine

 

Derek Senn – vocals, acoustic guitar

 

THE OIL OLIGOPOLY

 

I drove to work again today ten blocks God bless the USA

and I drove a mile to the treadmill I treaded and treaded and watched TV and treaded

and I treaded and treaded and watched Flavor Flav

until the light emitting diodes said two miles

and then I got back in my automobile and drove home one mile

and now I’m driving to a protest to protest the gouging of the gasoline buying consumer by

I’m driving to a protest to protest the gouging of the gasoline buying consumer by

the oil oligopoly

and I drove to the track to day I circled the oval at a high velocity in my V8

I drove home my kid was still up

so I strapped him in the back and I drove around town until he wasn’t

then I drove to the drive-through

a gaunt grizzled green party pooper was stationed in the booth

he passed me my shake shook his head said why do you drive that

well I told him the truth because I can

and now I’m driving to a protest to protest the gouging of the gasoline buying consumer by

I’m driving to a protest to protest the gouging of the gasoline buying consumer by

the oil oligopoly

 

Derek Senn – vocals, acoustic guitar, electric guitar

Damon Castillo – bass

Kristian Ducharme – yamaha motif, B3

Paul Griffith – drums, tambourine

 

 

SOME CHASE A GIRL

 

First time I saw you I just knew next thing I knew you moved to Peru

what to do I was into you so I flew to Peru

in Ayacucho I took tea the shining path extorted me

lovesick and in loves throes I caught a bus to Cusco

I found a hostel freshened up had another coca tea cup

I killed time until I got guts to track your digs down

and some are rejected some reject some click some never connect

some tie a knot and then it frays in two some chase a girl to Peru

so I knock on the door and what do I see a Peruano staring at me

he vibed me and then summoned you but by then I basically knew

so I went to Bolivia and toured the mines and their dark and dreary confines

I scaled an active volcano and hoped it would blow

and a friend said I should see Quito but I bought a fare to Toledo

poor broken an super sad I moved back in with my mom and dad

and the rejection well it festered like an infection

I took long walks in the hills with my psychological ills

and on one particularly heavy day when you cringe at how much your thoughts weigh

I came home mom looked me in the eye and said guess who just stopped on by

she’s at the creek she said she’d wait for you at the foot of the bridge until a quarter to two

something tells me she’s fond of you call it a girl’s intuition

and some pay a fee to troll J date presumably to land a Jewish mate

some stray succumbing to their libido some chase s boy to Toledo

and some are rejected some reject some click some never connect

some tie a knot and then it frays in two some chase a girl to Peru

 

Derek Senn – vocals, acoustic guitar

 

 

 

 

 

UNCLE MIKE

 

when Uncle Mike lived in LA and I lived in Toledo he'd send me tapes

of cutting edge songs on KXLU the student run station at Loyola U

I followed him west with my family and while I was studying at UCSB

he said I'm going to Chile and did I want to go whitewater raft the Bio Bio

and we shot those rapids it was a harrowing trip

now that river is a lake they've since dammed it

and we spent Christmas camped high in the Andes

next to a hot spring under the stars what a gift

and while we were down there I visited a crush she was on exchange in Argentina

and that crush is now my wife I'm glad I went to Chile with uncle Mike

and several years later his sense of adventure was fully intact

and I can prove it with this fact I suggested to him when he moved here to SLO

you should bicycle across American and goddamn if he didn't go

over three thousand miles from west to east

across the great plains over the Cascades and the Rockies

Mike traveled far off the mainstream and opened up my mind to myriad things

these are just a few snippets of how he shaped my life I should have said it sooner

thank you Mike

 

Derek Senn - vocals, acoustic guitar

Jason Slota - drums

John Vanderslice - mini moog

Rob Shelton - farfisa compact deluxe, mini moog

 

FIFTY-FIFTY SHOT

 

James and Cassandra called it quits

the twins are twenty-one months Elizabeth is six

they both swear it's not due to the kids its due to the kids

and if you still believe in world peace then you haven't yet met Dave and Elise

they scream at each other I hate you just a few months ago they said I do

relationships blossom relationships rot everyone starts with a fifty-fifty shot

should you lawyer up hire the best if you're a woman I hope you live in the west

things got ugly with Kate and Ben when he took their infant son to his ex girlfriends

the baby was screaming and so he thought the best way to soothe him

was to let him suckle on her breast to him it seemed logical

she was lactating and his was a hungry inconsolable baby

the ex was more than happy to oblige Kate was the woman she most despised

and everyone starts with a fifty-fifty shot Ben's odds were even but now they're not

Ben meant well but dudes are dumb dude don't ever let your ex wet nurse your son

 

Derek Senn - vocals, acoustic guitar

Jason Slota - drums, tambourine

John Vanderslice - mini moog

Rob Shelton - upright piano, farfisa compact deluxe

 

LA TELE

 

my girl and me we ain't got no TV she won't allow it she says I'm a slave to it

instead we read and drink our tea and we act smug no TV for us

occasionally we'll watch TV at Chuck & Ginny's or circuit city

in many conversations we cannot comment they're about TV about things we never see

in the days of old there was radio

the family would gather around it and listed to the sound of it

and what TV has force fed  they'd make up in their heads

sounds nice to me I'm in the minority

resistance is futile like computers and email says my good friend my techno junkie friend

but I'm idealistic and totally nostalgic kill your TV It'll set you free

 

Derek Senn - vocals, acoustic guitar

Jason Slota - drums, tambourine, tympani

John Vanderslice - moog source

David Phillips - pedal steel

Doe Eye - tambourine

 

THE WINTER RAINS

 

the winter rains they pick her up waking to the slow rain it picks her up

she parks the car scurries into work she's sitting in her office her meticulous office

the summer rains she pictures them sitting in her office her meticulous office

dark and mean and thundering just that side of the porch screen

the autumn rains she sits in them cozy in her auto her meticulous auto

she reclines and retracts the roof to the clapping thunderous clapping

 

Derek Senn - vocals, acoustic guitar

Jason Slota - drums, clave, xylophone

Rob Shelton - grand piano, hammond a-100

 

J

 

I started the day leafing through the paper there were the usual killings births engagements

obituaries a story on malfeasance work was forgetful I drove home like that prick

that gotta get there quick prick and I feel funereal while my kids laugh and play

my mom buried her brother today

she's the oldest one I'm her only son her brother Mills got killed in 'Nam

and her mom my grandma never saw forty-five and he was her oldest boy she named him J

my mom buried her brother today

and his laugh was a sardonic chuckle and his wit tinder dry

and he had a wood shop he made cool shit and had a spirit DIY

Dallas Texas eleven seven twenty fourteen clear skies rolling hills grass manicured and green

I wasn't in attendance but that's what they say you're helpless two time zones away

my kid sister's wedding was the last time I saw J and we had quite a time

my wife got hair extensions just to mark the occasion those Bo Derek braids

and some years later that union imploded and some years later J fell ill

and his wife Frosty cared for him through those last days of his life

 

Derek Senn - vocals, acoustic guitar

Jason Slota - drums, tambourine

John Vanderslice - moog source

David Phillips - dobro

 

 

 

 

TONGUE AND GROOVE

 

we're in the throes of the remodel of the guest restroom

we painstakingly chose the style of tile and the type of tub

but not without heated debate

Oh how I hate to debate with my spouse on matters concerning the house

she's got a pricey aesthetic I do the cheapest thing possible

she burns whole afternoons researching vanity sconces I do the cheapest thing possible

and when I lived in Ecuador we just had a hole in the goddamn floor

and the guest restroom well it worked just fine but she insisted it was dated

and I worry she'll never be sated she's a horn dog for improvement porn blogs

she's like a fetishist she's always suggesting crazy shit

I'm not always OK with it but I try to be game giving and game to fuel the flame

that's why I surprised her with hardwood I put it in myself without any help

tongue and groove and tongue and groove

and she was elated but I worry she'll never be sated

 

Derek Senn - vocals, acoustic guitar

John Vanderslice - vocals

Jason Slota - drums, shaker

Rob Shelton - grand piano

 

 

 

 

 

STEVE RENTS AMY'S ISLAND

 

Steve likes Virginia bourbon Steve drives a cherry red convertible

but she won't convert she's perpetually topless

Steve winters where Steve chooses to winter Steve summers at his plush place on the lake

Steve used to rough it on Amy's island  way way way way back in the day

Steve married a southern belle  who suffered through several summers of hell

stuck on Amy's island way way way way back in the day

said southern belle pushed for the plush place she wanted plumbing and electricity

she's still got her old chamber pot but now she just uses it for decor

and he just rents it out now Steve rents Amy's island he just rents it out now

and sometimes when Steve gets wistful for bygone days

he'll yank on the Johnson until it comes to life and he'll sputter out to Amy's island

where he'll sit on the granite and watch the moonrise

with a whiskey and something to smoke

same as he did on her island  way way way way back in the day

Steve used to rough it on Amy's island

 

Derek Senn - vocals, acoustic guitar

Jason Slota - drums

Rob Shelton - hammond a-100

Johnn Vanderslice - mini moog

David Phillips - pedal steel

 

MONICA LEWINSKY

 

Monica Lewinsky you wanna lay low with me I can keep you hid here in Spokane

Monica Lewinsky you wanna lay low with me I will role play your strongman

I will play your president your dictator your governator

I'll keep prying eyes from you and I'll buy you fifty shades of blue

you will play my concubine my cinderella the occasional fella

tabloid also-rans wallpaper checkout stands and there you were above the jerky

and the weight loss bars between emaciated stars looking like a caught escapee

and where does the time go your tryst was twenty years ago

and now you're bearing down on barren years

and I can see why you would absolutely not want to bring a kid into this world of cruelty

but we could still start a brood and live off of our own food

and keep the kids away from the checkout and the high powered magazines that shoot their mama

and plenty say that you deserve it and those that do deserve to be

trapped in the corner of an oval room

Monica Lewinsky you can't erase history but you can write your future in Spokane

Monica Lewinsky I'm down here on one knee everyone deserves a second chance

and I think you could love a damaged man if anyone can love me you can

 

Derek Senn - vocals, guitar

Jason Slota - drums, vibraphone, shaker

John Vanderslice - moog source

David Phillips - dobro

 

VIETNAM

 

My time had come to go and I wanted to know what went on on the outside

so I enlisted for a tour in Ecuador I wish I'd studied Spanish more

I deplaned with a grin short on oxygen and a family took me in

I picked up broken Spanish splayed out in their hammock from dubbed dialogue

Pam Anderson's boss played by Hasselhoff taught me how to talk

and I got confident I walked with a certain bent and I made friends excellent

and we bused it to the coast and we danced salsa stoned in Esmeraldas

Mills enlisted so his time came to go it was Ontario or go

he crossed his first state line toe tapped to the time of his kick drum heart

and he landed in Chu Lai where he was assigned to Suicide Mike

welcome overseas here's an M-16 be all that you can be

military glamour throwin' down the hammer lets fuck some shit up

the smell of fear and sweat I don't want to die yet I'm as scared as scared can get

and a kill in Vietnam makes a single mom so if you see my boy

let him know he taught me love he taught me what is love

would you tell him he is loved

 

Derek Senn - vocals, acoustic guitar

Jason Slota - drums

John Vanderslice - mini moog

Ron Shelton - hammond a-100, grand piano, mini moog

David Phillips - pedal steel

 

THE BIKING FAMILY

 

I know this guy he sold his automobile and now he bikes everywhere

his daughter sits on the back and reads a book on the way to school

it's pretty cool and his wife rides beside them she pulls a dog in a trailer

I'd be at spinning class hauling ass and they'd pass by the window

and my ex used to say find more time for your boy and for me

I get my boy all day Sunday and Monday morning I drop him at school

he used to ride in the back playing apps tap tap tap on that app

and we'd pull up to the stoplight alongside the biking family

and eighty nine percent of what we had we did not need

and eighty nine percent of what I did was to get what we did not need

and so I sold the automobile and now we bike everywhere

my boy sits on the back and we chat on the way to school it's pretty cool

 

Derek Senn - vocals, acoustic guitar

Melanie Senn - vocals

Jason Slota - drums, surdo

John Vanderslice - moog source

David Phillips - pedal steel

 

SOUTH DAKOTA LADY

 

I heard her say on the radio I want heartland values extended to all

and after the fall of the secular state the stars all aligned in the perfect place

and she got her way hers was a cause celebre amongst those who never make mistakes in bed

Devona never saw the morality play  it was hard enough to get to her job each day

she bused an hour to a quickie mart gig  the neighbor kept a lazy eye on her four kids

the dads of whom were not exactly kicking down still she gave it up for them when they came around

kid number five she knew she couldn't have but heartland values said too fucking bad

pro life pro death penalty interesting philosophy

morality can be so cruel they'll put you on a pedestal then kick it out from under you

so this overzealous South Dakota lady flew Pierre to Colorado Springs

she went to receive an award of commendation  from a mega mega mega mega church congregation

we thank thee for fighting for life's sanctity in your honor we planted a red delicious tree

so the unwanted kid had it bad born with a habit never could kick it

twenty three years of sordid details don't merit repeating but the last one does

because he was fixing for his latest fix when he hit up the grocery

 she was there fresh from the ceremony cap in clerk cap in her cap in cash register

the clerk dies she survives he gets apprehended and she testifies

she says I was there I saw what he did and I want to see the motherfucker executed

such harsh words from a heartland wife  hell bent on protecting the sanctity of life

well she gets her wish and sits in front of Devona whose offspring she legislated into being

and with the flick of a switch and an agonized shout she gets to see the sanctity of life snuffed out

pro life pro death penalty interesting philosophy

morality can be so cruel  they'll put you on a pedestal then kick it out from under you

 

Derek Senn - vocals, acoustic guitar

Jason Slota - drums

Rob Shelton - rhodes, mini moog, farfisa compact deluxe

 

THE DRINKY DRINK

 

I love the drinky drink

The drinky drink makes my mouthy mouth water

the drinky drink makes my heady head pound harder

but only when I've had too much drinky drink

then I start to think that I don't want no more drinky drink

but my brain says it'll make me feel better

so let's have another drinky drink together

the drinky drink I love the drinky drink

everyday I sit and thinky think about my drinky drink

what's it gonna be tonight's drinky drink for me

my drinky drink will probably be fermented grape juice

I've got a hundred gallons sitting in my bedroom

or maybe Tyler Jones will send me the growler

of his darth delirium the gold medal winner

the drinky drink I love the drinky drink

I shudder to think what I would do without my drinky drink

If I was in a fundamentalist country my head would be chopped off by now

my grandpa's brandy still still might come in handy still

if them political fanaticals renew prohibition I'll be moonshining my drinky drink

I love the drinky drink I love the drinky drink

every time i drink the drinky drink it makes me wanna sing songs

and then I have a little smoky smoke and get a craving for ding dongs

I like to have the drinky drink each night with my dinner

and just for that the church across the street they're telling me I'm a sinner

because I love that drinky drink

I love the drinky drink

 

Derek Senn - vocals, guitar

Jason Slota - drums, xylophone

John Vanderslice - moog source

Rob Shelton - mini moog

 

Bless Her Insecurity
 
she brings home the bacon she pays all the bills
I eat all the bacon I eat all the pills
she does all the cooking she does all the chores
I'm known for my past athleticism and my generous pours
and she could definitely do a lot better than me
bless her insecurity
yeah she could definitely do a lot better than me
bless her insecurity
I do all the shouting I throw all the plates
she does all the crying the make-up sex is great
she guarantees my bail bonds her kid's a goddamn saint
except when he's alone with me that's the only time he ain't
and she could definitely do a lot better than me
bless her insecurity
yeah she could definitely do a lot better than me
bless her insecurity
and I follow all those columns of advice
I'm pretty sure we've been featured at least once or twice
and they tell her that she could definitely do a lot better than me
yeah she could definitely do a lot better than me
bless her insecurity
bless her insecurity
 
Derek Senn - vocals, acoustic guitar
Rob Shelton - upright piano
Jason Slota - drums, tambourine, shaker
John Vanderslice - moog
 
Bohemian Girl
 
baby no need to update the kitchen
baby no need to upgrade the car
baby I'm just fine with our dinette set
but we could use a new guitar
and baby I'm ok with all the dry rot
and baby the roof leaks but we've got buckets
and baby we've got just enough money in the jam jar
to buy ourselves that new guitar
those highfalutin friends of yours are poisoning your mind
the house looks just fine
and you told me when I took you for my wife
I don't want stuff I want an interesting life
where in the world is the bohemian girl I fell for
I can mow the lawn or write a pop song
but you tell me it's not an either or
but then you tell me I can either mow or be a true troubadour
those highfalutin friends of yours are poisoning your mind
the yard looks just fine
where in the world is the bohemian girl I fell for
did she die with the adventurous guy you fell for
 
Derek Senn - vocals, acoustic guitar
Jon Monahan - electric guitar
Jason Slota - drums, shaker
John Vanderslice - moog
 
 
Downhill
 
baby baby you and me we better get some therapy
we're going downhill we're going downhill
whenever I catch you looking at me
you look like you don't like what you see
we're going downhill we're going downhill
and the only time you touch me is accidentally
we're going downhill we're going downhill
and every time I try to take you on a date
you suddenly don't feel so great
we're going downhill we're going downhill
and I'm losing hope in us  I don't want to lose hope in us
I'm losing hope in us  I don't want to lose hope in us
I'm losing hope in us  I don't want to lose hope in us
I'm losing hope in us  I don't want to lose hope in us
there's a white band where your ring was
are you giving it a suntan because we're going downhill
we're going downhill
and you used to be a sucker for a love scene
but now you just say a bunch of cynical things
we're going downhill we're going downhill
and the money we saved to go to Belize
is gonna get blown on attorneys fees
we're going downhill we're going downhill
and I'm losing hope in us I don't want to lose hope in us
I'm losing hope in us  I don't want to lose hope in us
I'm losing hope in us  I don't want to lose hope in us
but I've still got hope in use I hope you've still got hope in us...
 
Derek Senn - vocals, acoustic guitar
Jason Slota - surdo, clave
John Vanderslice  - lark organ
 
Healthcare's Where
 
I'll support the bill to get you a gun and ship you to the invasion
to oust the regime we used to embrace
I'll miss disco night at the dictator's place
and I'll support the bill that will bust your wife for possession
and give her life
cuz one strike and you're out is the pledge I made
to slash the recidivism rate
and I trust the war industrial complex
to bring the pork that brings the jobs that brings the votes
and I trust the jail industrial complex
to bring the pork that brings the jobs that brings the votes
but healthcares where I draw the line
wars and jails I'll get behind
because I'm a defense hawk who's cruel on crime
and  healthcare's where I draw the line
and I'll support the bill to get you a position at the brand new prison
guarding your wife
you'll get good benies or you could clerk at penny's
and suck on the socialist tit of affordable care
and I trust the jail industrial complex
to bring the pork that brings the jobs that brings the votes
and I trust the war industrial complex
to bring the port that brings the jobs that brings the votes
but healthcare's where I draw the line
where's the enemy?  I need an enemy
because I'm a defense hawk who's cruel on crime
and healthcare's where I draw the line
 
Derek Senn - vocals, acoustic guitar, harmonica
Jon Monahan - electric guitar
Rob Shelton - upright piano, korg mono/poly synth
John Vanderslice - moog
Jason Slota - drums
 
Hell If I know
we used to wake up in the morning
climb to the summit and take in the valley below
and the last time we did that hell if I know
We used to wake before the sun
grab out guns and our suits and shoot out to the morro
and the last time we did that hell if I know
and we used to live check to check
blissfully unnerved by things economic
but now the dow industrial plunge
has got us feeling kind of nostalgic
for when we used to use bikes instead of a car
to get from here to there be it near or far
and the last time we did that hell if I know
and we used to wake up and kill the alarm
and see where things would go
and the last time we did that
the last time we did that
the last time we did that
hell if I know
 
Derek Senn - vocals, acoustic guitar
Jason Slota - drums, vibraphone, shaker
Rob Shelton - upright piano, korg mono/poly synth
 
Whoop de Do   
 
I found her on a sunday just outside the sault
I christened her monday with a bottle of labatt's blue
and I tied her atop the grand marquis
we put in at the put in on the mississauga
we floated to the mouth nothing on the agenda
brewed a cup on a gravel bar black and a pack of splenda
and with a boulder in the bow she slices through a gale
I'll never get why they had her on closeout sale
my ADD brother well he's got one of them jet ski things
he says he can't get enough of the rush it brings
he burns through a tank carving figure 8's
he burns through a tank slicing up his wake
and the kids all clamor for a joyride with him
nobody clamors for her
and they're all sitting at the table swapping tales of derring-do
whoop de freakin do whoop de freakin do
whoop de freakin do whoop de freakin do
I love my canoe
 
Derek Senn - vocals, acoustic & electric guitar
Jason Slota - drums
Rob Shelton - korg mono/poly synth
John Vanderslice - moog
 
 
The Technological Breakthrough
 
And we agreed that the family needed to head north for a week or a few
and we agreed that we also needed to take a break from electronics
we read books took the time to cook we slept on the porch through electrical storms
I took the canoe on a ride with you through moonlit waters
and we agreed that the things we need are few
such were the conclusions we came to before getting back to living the way we usually do
and you and I used to rely on the postman to bring me your prose from Argentina
but it's been quite awhile since we've exchanged anything tactile
and I've still got all your perfumed letters stowed safely away
and you still write to me albeit electronically
but so matter of fact
and in a run on paragraph
never a salutation
slipshod punctuation
a pedestrian font
 when yours is the only font I want
I long for your longhand ways
so for 50 weeks I'm going to wear my monkey suit in order to canoe the other two
and see that the things we need are few and take a break from electronics
and go skinny dipping after sipping spirits  and harmonize on the porch through electrical storms
and take the canoe on a ride with you through moonlit waters
and write longhand letters the way we used to do before the technological breakthrough
will you write me like you used to before the technological breakthrough
before the technological breakthrough
 
Derek Senn - vocals, acoustic guitar
Jason Slota - drums
Jon Monahan - electric guitar
Rob Shelton - upright piano, moog
John Vanderslice - synthesizer
 
Sun Valley Sally
 
Sun Valley Sally queen of apres ski I met her back in '75 on chair 3
we had a superficial chat about the weather and that
and then I tendered an invite to visit my flat
and when the lifts closed we sniffed snow and we shut down the pio
Sun Valley Sally raised a pole to me at the base of the lift back in 1983
and me 41 wife and two stepsons I said hon I'm gonna sneak in one last run
and when the lifts closed we sniffed snow and we shut down the pio
and life gets away from you so you do what you've got to do
Sun valley Sally grand dame of apres ski fresh off a hysterectomy
and me thrice divorced married to my porsche fake hip fake knee just got a colonoscopy
yeah but I've got skills and little blue pills cuz you do what you've got to do
and Sally's crown has been passed to her heir at last yeah I guess she had a kid a few decades back
and I hear she's hot I think I'll give it a shot as soon as I confirm I'm not her daddy
and life gets away from you so you do what you've got to do
 
Derek Senn - vocals, acoustic guitar
Jason Slota - drums, shaker
Jon Monahan - acoustic guitar
John Vanderslice - crumar synth
James Riotto - piano
 
The Shit We Keep
 
Deep in my storage locker there is a popcorn popper underneath a box spring
I'm saving for the day I get a california king and there's a back up crock pot
do I really need aback up? probably not well maybe if I used a crock pot a lot
but I don't even use the crock pot I've already got
deep in my storage locker there is another popcorn popper
and popcorn is not even something I eat it gives my diverticulitis and it sticks in my teeth
but I can't pass up a screaming deal and this popcorn popper was a total steal
and they even threw in a free crock pot it's the back up to the back up to the one that I've got
and I store it next to an old banjo I bought at a garage sale about a decade ago
and it came with a banjo for dummies book maybe I will take it home and finally give it a look
no on second thought I'll keep it packed away and maybe revisit it when I'm old and gray
oh and hey I've got to stop by the office and pay my storage unit rent was due yesterday
let's see that's a late fee of twenty five bucks plus a hundred a month for storing my stuff
so what's a hundred times a hundred and nineteen months plus fifty late fees at twenty five bucks
aw but you can't put a price on memorabilia and that can't add up to much more than 2 or 3 grand for the shit we keep the shit we keep I spent the day with the shit we keep
the shit we keep the shit we keep I spent the day with the shit we keep
a paint roller a jogging stroller and nobody knows what's in store for their fates and I don't paint jog or procreate but I might one day and on that day I can say I'm gonna go to unit 543 today and I will open up the door and get what I need and maybe grab my vinyl version of let it bleed but then I'll have to grab my turntable too and fix the broken arm with super glue and I'll probably lose gumption but one of these days I might get the gumption so everything stays the ratty teddy bear the fisher price castle the extra long bong and the graduation tassel the old black light the dried boutonniere rose the reptile terrarium the pimp and ho clothes the vcr and the tae-bo tapes billy banks might yet get me in shape oh and hey I've got to stop by the office and pay my storage unit rent was due yesterday oh no wait I set it up so I would just get charged automatically on the credit card APR twenty seven percent but I will never pay a late fee ever again for the shit we keep the shit we keep I spent the day with the shit we keep.....
 
Derek Senn - vocals, acoustic guitar, harmonica
Jon Monahan - acoustic, electric, and bass guitar
John Vanderslice - electric guitar, synthesizer
Jason Slota - drums, triangle, all things shakable
 
 
Darlin' I'm Not Earning Enough
 
well yes I'm preoccupied the weight of our state is on my mind
I'm not inclined to trouble you with woe
so how to put it to you we've had a pretty good run hon'
but we can't keep on living like we do
cuz darlin' I'm not earnin' enough darlin' I'm not earnin' enough
darlin' I'm not earnin' enough we're in arrears dear on the house cars rv jet ski
cuz darlin I'm not earnin' enough
and I always tuned out grandma when she'd say sock some away for a rainy day
and now the rains coming down in torrents and sheets and there's no let up in sight
there's no foreseeable relief and when the money was good and the goods were for you
you said darlin' I'd live in a mud hit with you
well it's moving day my darlin' its moving time my dear cuz darlin' I'm not earnin' enough
so yes I'm  preoccupied the weight of our state is on my mind I'm not inclined to find the silver lining
you're the one who seeks the sun keeps it light and makes it fun
help me make it through chapter 7 yeah help me make it through chapter 7
cuz darlin' I'm not earnin'  enough darlin' I'm not earnin' enough darlin' I'm not earnin' enough
 
Derek Senn - vocals, acoustic guitars
Rob Shelton - upright piano
 
You Don't Know How Good You've Got It
 
you don't know how good you've got it no you don't know how good you've got it
take my word my word for it you don't know how good you've got it
there's nothing out there past the horizon that could top what you already have
so find a way to make it all work don't be beguiled by a new locale
cuz you don't know how good you've got it no you don't know how good you've got it
yeah take my word my word for it you don't know how good you've got it
well didn't you hear the one about the one who had it all then tossed it aside
to see the unknown he never made it home his whereabouts  are still unknown
he probably died high up in the andes they say the air up there it mummifies
if you roll the dice well then at what price if you stumble home a broken man
cuz you don't know how good you've got it no you don't know how good you've got it
take my word my word for it you don't know how good you've got it
 
Derek Senn - vocals, acoustic & electric guitar
Jon Monahan - electric guitar, bass guitar
Rob Shelton - lark organ
Jason Slota - drums
 
 
Petit Telephone
 
telephono chiquitita ojala que me salves la vida
yo tengo mis canciones y nada mas
prende el boton en su grabador con cinta de dos pulgadas
salvame telephono chiquitita
petit telephono petit 
petit telephono petit
telephono chiquititia you he puesto todo mi fe
en su proceso misterioso y antiquada
prende el boton en su grabador con cinta de dos pulgadas
te adoro telephono chiquitita
petit telephono petit 
petit telephono petit
prende el boton en su grabador con cinta de dos pulgadas
salvame telephono chiquitita
salvame telephono chiquitita
 
Derek Senn - vocals, guitar
Laurence Wasser - Frenchman
 
 
 
 
Recorded and mixed April 12-21 2014 at Tiny Telephone, San Francisco, CA
Produced and Engineered by John Vanderslice
Assistant Engineer - Laurence Wasser
Mixed by James Riotto
Mastered by Jason Ward at Chicago Mastering Service, Chicago, Illinois
 
All songs  ©Derek Senn/Rio Ciego Publishing (ASCAP).  All Rights Reserved