ALASKA
I had a great day of surfing in my cubicle
I found a California fixer these days it ain’t that hard
and I set a move date back to the lower 48
I need a new chapter I’m over Alaska
The Butte county beauty was never lost on me
we used to drive the levees and soak up scenery
skeletal orchards decrepit towns
the low sun aglow on the slow Sacramento
Keep heading west and you’ll end up back east
keep trying to bet yourself and you might just get beat
I’m gonna look down south there’s a sentiment I’m after
It’s back down the Alcan I’m over Alaska
Derek Senn – vocals, acoustic guitar
Damon Castillo – electric guitar
Kristian Ducharme – wurlitzer, B3
Paul Griffith – drums, tambourine
HOW COULD A MAN
She’s a yogi she’s a reader she’s an unapologetic eater a carnivore poor pigs cows and chickens
she’s even-keeled until crossed that’s when dishes get tossed
don’t bequeath your fine china to her she’s a laundress she’s a gourmet chef
an EMT she won’t shy away she’ll suture cuts she’ll pick a tick right off your nuts
if you puke your guts out she’s there to console you she hates treadmills and gyms
loves open water swims hiking biking camping bodysurfing
she rode her Bianchi through the Portuguese wine country full self-supported
she lived in Argentina she’s a trilingual gringa she cursed her way through a natural birth
she’s got perfect skin and when her fallopian tubes were tied God cried a tear
and how could a man not fall completely x3
she’s a cumbia dancer she thinks TV’s a cancer she loves to spar intellectually
she’s up for anything so no BS she will go anywhere there is an adventure
if you ask her to learn to play the drums and go onstage
she’ll learn to play the drums and go onstage
and someone once tried to test her well into her third trimester
he said you wanna go to Ko Lipe she said OK
and they rode that boat for hours and hours through that black Thai night
while he puked into the sea and she held him and consoled him and earnestly told him
I’ll take care of you if you take care of me
and how could a man not fall completely x3
in love
Derek Senn – vocals, acoustic guitar
Damon Castillo – bass, electric guitar
Kristian Ducharme – wurlitzer, juno, moog
Paul Griffith - drums
BOTOX
The gal down the block just got botoxed
she’s driving her Porsche off to where her horse
sleeps with the chickens
she will disagree the concept of free comes from within
She won’t let him go to see the horse show
there’s no magic pill it makes her too nervous when he’s there
so she takes a nip the horse takes a trip and goes under
Derek Senn – vocals, acoustic guitar, electric guitar, harmonica
Damon Castillo – bass
Kristian Ducharme – piano, mellotron, wurlitzer
Paul Griffith - drums
BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR
It sounded nice to have peace and quiet
a break from the kids so we shipped them off to camp katydid
and then we had peace and quiet just the wife and me
so we shared a medical brownie
and we spent our quiet evening in the fetal position
be careful what you wish for we used to be hardcore not anymore be careful what you wish for
and then we went to the bar for a drinky we threw back a couple next to a kinky couple
they said do you want to party at our place where we can uncouple so we can quadruple
we said thanks but we’ve got to go we really like to watch the antiques roadshow
be careful what you wish for we used to be hardcore not anymore be careful what you wish for
and then we got around to resuscitating our rock-n-roll dream
and so we dusted off the drums and amplifiers back before kids we were good we used to gig
but before we even made it through half a song
our neighbor chuck came along and sounded the gong
and we picked up the kids today they both said camp was great so we booked next years dates
how can we miss them if they don’t go away
but they’ll soon be gone forever at least they had better
and we’ll have quiet be careful what you wish for
because I wanted it to speed up more when they were 3 and 4
not anymore be careful what you wish for
Derek Senn – vocals, acoustic guitar, electric guitar
Damon Castillo – bass, electric guitar
Kristian Ducharme – B3
Paul Griffith – drums, shaker
Larry Kim - saxaphone
HAVE A NICE DAY
My 12,992nd day dawns balmy and gray same as the previous day
alarm bell wake up do my hair and make-up what to wear today
white and light gray same as the previous day
I pop my prescription and swallow the cliché cherish every day
and I cling to it like flotsam from the shipwreck of my shattered expectations
have a nice day have a nice hum drum day I’m all dolled up for the dull day
have a nice day have a nice hum drum day I’m all dolled up for the dull day
my 12,997th day and one thing is for sure I’m gonna get a pedicure
and it’s time for a shake-up I’m tossing all my make-up
I’m going to go cruelty free it’s just more me
and I can almost taste the freedom as soon as the kids ship off to school
I’m gonna do some cyber shopping with my chai then its rose by the racquet club pool
have a nice day have a nice hum drum day I’m all dolled up for the dull day
have a nice day have a nice hum drum day I’m all dolled up for the dull day
Derek Senn – vocals, acoustic guitar, electric guitar
Damon Castillo – bass
Kristian Ducharme - juno
Paul Griffith - drums
THE NUCLEAR FAMILY
She wanted a ring and a proposal I got her one made her one
a couple kids on a cul-de-sac so we made some and bought on one
and the disconnect it crept in in imperceptible ways
and slowly the corrosion ate through our better days
and once we put the kids down we go our separate ways
I slip down to my home office stare at the screen and say
estoy aburrido ya no la quiero quitate la blusa y la minifalda te juro que te quiero
last night was relatively civil and then we go into the wine
I’ve been hoarding my last Percocet tonight I’m gonna feel just fine
the kids are on their consoles I taught them how to play
let’s spend the nights together in our own virtual way
the nuclear family meltdown is underway
I slip into my fallout shelter stare at the screen and say
estoy aburrido ya no la quiero quitate la blusa y la minifalda te juro que te quiero
Derek Senn – vocals, acoustic guitar, electric guitar, hand claps
Damon Castillo – bass, hand claps, keyboards
Kristian Ducharme – B3
Paul Griffith - drums
BABYSITTER
Two under two let me tell you what you’re missing sleepless nights night after night
a fear of flying but not because of terrorists diarrhea vomit and pee
a milking mechanism milking mommy’s mammaries
but tonight it’s all good yeah tonight it’s alright because we’ve got a babysitter
and I’m up here up on the stage singing my songs playing guitar
my old lady’s over there she’s sitting in a booth in a red plush booth having a drink
we’re living it up we’re out on the town we’re having a ball we’re painting the town
we’re letting our guard down because we’ve got a babysitter
and my left side pocket is aflutter aflitter incoming call from the babysitter
expecting the worst I don’t want to pick up because my buzz is kicking in I’m on my third cup
and for just a sliver of a night I don’t want to be Mr. Responsibility
But I’ve got to pick up because I’ve got to know is it is or is it isn’t copacetic in the home
babysitter says everything is fine but your boy Charlie Roy won’t stop crying
I say put him on the line I’ll stop him from crying by singing him his favorite nursery rhyme
it goes he’s having a dance party Charlie Roy he’s having a dance party
he’s gonna wiggle wiggle wiggle and jiggle jiggle jiggle
cuz he’s having a dance party Charlie Roy he’s having a dance party
and I’m up here I’m up on the stage I’m singing my songs I’m playing guitar
my old lady’s over there she’s sitting in a booth in a red plush booth she’s having a drink
we’re living it up we’re out on the town we’re having a ball we’re painting the town
we’re letting our guard down letting our guard down letting our guard down
because we got a babysitter
Derek Senn – vocals, acoustic guitar
Damon Castillo – bass, electric guitar
Kristian Ducharme – B3, rhodes
Paul Griffith – drums, tambourine
PRETTY THINGS
So the leaves have turned and fallen fifty times since my birth
and the trees will wait out the winter buds will break come the thaw
some trees will die and decompose I’ll chainsaw one to heat my home
when I was a boy my Labrador died I reckoned I’d see her on the other side
I asked my priest will she go up to heaven he said no
so she remained inside a box inside a drawer next to my socks
when it’s my time should I be burned I don’t want to be shelved in an urn
scatter me up here at the lake bring instruments and have a raucous wake
I’m sitting here in my cabin with my woman and my cat
we’ve got each other books and a guitar you don’t need much we’ve come to learn that
the days are shorter and there’s and arctic breeze and we’re enveloped in crimson maple trees
and I took her ashes and spread them in the meadow
she really liked it there so it seemed apropos
and it will soon be a sea of snow and after the break-up pretty things will grow
after the break-up pretty things will grow
Derek Senn – vocals, acoustic guitar, keyboards, harmonica
Damon Castillo – bass, electric guitar
Kristian Ducharme – B3
Paul Griffith – drums, tambourine
COLD CALLING CAN
I’m on the clock I’m working on a catchy chorus I’m on the clock I’m working on my first verse
I’m on the clock inspiration can’t wait cold calling can cold calling can
the melody’s fleeting hurry up call and sing the melody’s fleeting to the answering machine
the melody’s fleeting inspiration can’t wait cold calling can cold calling can
and when we’re living in the poorhouse we’ll be singing the songs I made up on the clock
and you can’t ignore the signal when the signal kicks you out of your house
I know trust me I know
I’m having a lackluster quarter monetarily speaking but glory be musically I’m rich
yeah I’ve got four new kick-ass songs already and get this
this morning at the sweet shoppe I started a fifth
and there ain’t a damn thing the Fed head can say when they grill him up on the hill today
to undermine their worth one iota because they’re mine and that’s that
yum I made them from scratch yeah I own them free and clear no loans or liens are attached
and if we sink into depression I’ll just make us up a happy batch
and when we’re living in the poorhouse we’ll be singing the songs I made up on the clock
and you can’t ignore the signal when the signal kicks you out of your house
Derek Senn – vocals, acoustic guitar, electric guitar
Damon Castillo – bass, electric guitar
Kristian Ducharme - moog
Paul Griffith – drums, doumbek
THE SONG MINE
Deep inside the song mine blasting away looking for a vein
it’s just about tapped out deep inside the song mine
I wish it produced more I wish it fed my family of four
but I still find the occasional nugget deep inside the song mine
what’s that above melodious and glimmering
it looks like a chorus shiny and shimmering
my grandpa was one as was his son I hope my boy will follow
cuz I can think of nothing finer than the life of a song miner
but mining verses has its curse
and during this latest extraction something calamitous happened
as I was looking for the words to milk this metaphor
an avalanche of clichés blocked all the exit ways
and I was stuck down there for days I couldn’t get past those clichés
and then the caged bird died deep inside the song mine
so that song never saw the light of day it’s forever entombed in cliché
sometimes you hit the motherlode sometimes your head explodes
looking for the right line deep inside the song mine
and some say it’s just dumb luck yeah but you still have to show up
so I’ll just keep on digging next to Old Man Prine deep inside the song mine
Derek Senn – vocals, acoustic guitar
THE OIL OLIGOPOLY
I drove to work again today ten blocks God bless the USA
and I drove a mile to the treadmill I treaded and treaded and watched TV and treaded
and I treaded and treaded and watched Flavor Flav
until the light emitting diodes said two miles
and then I got back in my automobile and drove home one mile
and now I’m driving to a protest to protest the gouging of the gasoline buying consumer by
I’m driving to a protest to protest the gouging of the gasoline buying consumer by
the oil oligopoly
and I drove to the track to day I circled the oval at a high velocity in my V8
I drove home my kid was still up
so I strapped him in the back and I drove around town until he wasn’t
then I drove to the drive-through
a gaunt grizzled green party pooper was stationed in the booth
he passed me my shake shook his head said why do you drive that
well I told him the truth because I can
and now I’m driving to a protest to protest the gouging of the gasoline buying consumer by
I’m driving to a protest to protest the gouging of the gasoline buying consumer by
the oil oligopoly
Derek Senn – vocals, acoustic guitar, electric guitar
Damon Castillo – bass
Kristian Ducharme – yamaha motif, B3
Paul Griffith – drums, tambourine
SOME CHASE A GIRL
First time I saw you I just knew next thing I knew you moved to Peru
what to do I was into you so I flew to Peru
in Ayacucho I took tea the shining path extorted me
lovesick and in loves throes I caught a bus to Cusco
I found a hostel freshened up had another coca tea cup
I killed time until I got guts to track your digs down
and some are rejected some reject some click some never connect
some tie a knot and then it frays in two some chase a girl to Peru
so I knock on the door and what do I see a Peruano staring at me
he vibed me and then summoned you but by then I basically knew
so I went to Bolivia and toured the mines and their dark and dreary confines
I scaled an active volcano and hoped it would blow
and a friend said I should see Quito but I bought a fare to Toledo
poor broken an super sad I moved back in with my mom and dad
and the rejection well it festered like an infection
I took long walks in the hills with my psychological ills
and on one particularly heavy day when you cringe at how much your thoughts weigh
I came home mom looked me in the eye and said guess who just stopped on by
she’s at the creek she said she’d wait for you at the foot of the bridge until a quarter to two
something tells me she’s fond of you call it a girl’s intuition
and some pay a fee to troll J date presumably to land a Jewish mate
some stray succumbing to their libido some chase s boy to Toledo
and some are rejected some reject some click some never connect
some tie a knot and then it frays in two some chase a girl to Peru
Derek Senn – vocals, acoustic guitar
UNCLE MIKE
when Uncle Mike lived in LA and I lived in Toledo he'd send me tapes
of cutting edge songs on KXLU the student run station at Loyola U
I followed him west with my family and while I was studying at UCSB
he said I'm going to Chile and did I want to go whitewater raft the Bio Bio
and we shot those rapids it was a harrowing trip
now that river is a lake they've since dammed it
and we spent Christmas camped high in the Andes
next to a hot spring under the stars what a gift
and while we were down there I visited a crush she was on exchange in Argentina
and that crush is now my wife I'm glad I went to Chile with uncle Mike
and several years later his sense of adventure was fully intact
and I can prove it with this fact I suggested to him when he moved here to SLO
you should bicycle across American and goddamn if he didn't go
over three thousand miles from west to east
across the great plains over the Cascades and the Rockies
Mike traveled far off the mainstream and opened up my mind to myriad things
these are just a few snippets of how he shaped my life I should have said it sooner
thank you Mike
Derek Senn - vocals, acoustic guitar
Jason Slota - drums
John Vanderslice - mini moog
Rob Shelton - farfisa compact deluxe, mini moog
FIFTY-FIFTY SHOT
James and Cassandra called it quits
the twins are twenty-one months Elizabeth is six
they both swear it's not due to the kids its due to the kids
and if you still believe in world peace then you haven't yet met Dave and Elise
they scream at each other I hate you just a few months ago they said I do
relationships blossom relationships rot everyone starts with a fifty-fifty shot
should you lawyer up hire the best if you're a woman I hope you live in the west
things got ugly with Kate and Ben when he took their infant son to his ex girlfriends
the baby was screaming and so he thought the best way to soothe him
was to let him suckle on her breast to him it seemed logical
she was lactating and his was a hungry inconsolable baby
the ex was more than happy to oblige Kate was the woman she most despised
and everyone starts with a fifty-fifty shot Ben's odds were even but now they're not
Ben meant well but dudes are dumb dude don't ever let your ex wet nurse your son
Derek Senn - vocals, acoustic guitar
Jason Slota - drums, tambourine
John Vanderslice - mini moog
Rob Shelton - upright piano, farfisa compact deluxe
LA TELE
my girl and me we ain't got no TV she won't allow it she says I'm a slave to it
instead we read and drink our tea and we act smug no TV for us
occasionally we'll watch TV at Chuck & Ginny's or circuit city
in many conversations we cannot comment they're about TV about things we never see
in the days of old there was radio
the family would gather around it and listed to the sound of it
and what TV has force fed they'd make up in their heads
sounds nice to me I'm in the minority
resistance is futile like computers and email says my good friend my techno junkie friend
but I'm idealistic and totally nostalgic kill your TV It'll set you free
Derek Senn - vocals, acoustic guitar
Jason Slota - drums, tambourine, tympani
John Vanderslice - moog source
David Phillips - pedal steel
Doe Eye - tambourine
THE WINTER RAINS
the winter rains they pick her up waking to the slow rain it picks her up
she parks the car scurries into work she's sitting in her office her meticulous office
the summer rains she pictures them sitting in her office her meticulous office
dark and mean and thundering just that side of the porch screen
the autumn rains she sits in them cozy in her auto her meticulous auto
she reclines and retracts the roof to the clapping thunderous clapping
Derek Senn - vocals, acoustic guitar
Jason Slota - drums, clave, xylophone
Rob Shelton - grand piano, hammond a-100
J
I started the day leafing through the paper there were the usual killings births engagements
obituaries a story on malfeasance work was forgetful I drove home like that prick
that gotta get there quick prick and I feel funereal while my kids laugh and play
my mom buried her brother today
she's the oldest one I'm her only son her brother Mills got killed in 'Nam
and her mom my grandma never saw forty-five and he was her oldest boy she named him J
my mom buried her brother today
and his laugh was a sardonic chuckle and his wit tinder dry
and he had a wood shop he made cool shit and had a spirit DIY
Dallas Texas eleven seven twenty fourteen clear skies rolling hills grass manicured and green
I wasn't in attendance but that's what they say you're helpless two time zones away
my kid sister's wedding was the last time I saw J and we had quite a time
my wife got hair extensions just to mark the occasion those Bo Derek braids
and some years later that union imploded and some years later J fell ill
and his wife Frosty cared for him through those last days of his life
Derek Senn - vocals, acoustic guitar
Jason Slota - drums, tambourine
John Vanderslice - moog source
David Phillips - dobro
TONGUE AND GROOVE
we're in the throes of the remodel of the guest restroom
we painstakingly chose the style of tile and the type of tub
but not without heated debate
Oh how I hate to debate with my spouse on matters concerning the house
she's got a pricey aesthetic I do the cheapest thing possible
she burns whole afternoons researching vanity sconces I do the cheapest thing possible
and when I lived in Ecuador we just had a hole in the goddamn floor
and the guest restroom well it worked just fine but she insisted it was dated
and I worry she'll never be sated she's a horn dog for improvement porn blogs
she's like a fetishist she's always suggesting crazy shit
I'm not always OK with it but I try to be game giving and game to fuel the flame
that's why I surprised her with hardwood I put it in myself without any help
tongue and groove and tongue and groove
and she was elated but I worry she'll never be sated
Derek Senn - vocals, acoustic guitar
John Vanderslice - vocals
Jason Slota - drums, shaker
Rob Shelton - grand piano
STEVE RENTS AMY'S ISLAND
Steve likes Virginia bourbon Steve drives a cherry red convertible
but she won't convert she's perpetually topless
Steve winters where Steve chooses to winter Steve summers at his plush place on the lake
Steve used to rough it on Amy's island way way way way back in the day
Steve married a southern belle who suffered through several summers of hell
stuck on Amy's island way way way way back in the day
said southern belle pushed for the plush place she wanted plumbing and electricity
she's still got her old chamber pot but now she just uses it for decor
and he just rents it out now Steve rents Amy's island he just rents it out now
and sometimes when Steve gets wistful for bygone days
he'll yank on the Johnson until it comes to life and he'll sputter out to Amy's island
where he'll sit on the granite and watch the moonrise
with a whiskey and something to smoke
same as he did on her island way way way way back in the day
Steve used to rough it on Amy's island
Derek Senn - vocals, acoustic guitar
Jason Slota - drums
Rob Shelton - hammond a-100
Johnn Vanderslice - mini moog
David Phillips - pedal steel
MONICA LEWINSKY
Monica Lewinsky you wanna lay low with me I can keep you hid here in Spokane
Monica Lewinsky you wanna lay low with me I will role play your strongman
I will play your president your dictator your governator
I'll keep prying eyes from you and I'll buy you fifty shades of blue
you will play my concubine my cinderella the occasional fella
tabloid also-rans wallpaper checkout stands and there you were above the jerky
and the weight loss bars between emaciated stars looking like a caught escapee
and where does the time go your tryst was twenty years ago
and now you're bearing down on barren years
and I can see why you would absolutely not want to bring a kid into this world of cruelty
but we could still start a brood and live off of our own food
and keep the kids away from the checkout and the high powered magazines that shoot their mama
and plenty say that you deserve it and those that do deserve to be
trapped in the corner of an oval room
Monica Lewinsky you can't erase history but you can write your future in Spokane
Monica Lewinsky I'm down here on one knee everyone deserves a second chance
and I think you could love a damaged man if anyone can love me you can
Derek Senn - vocals, guitar
Jason Slota - drums, vibraphone, shaker
John Vanderslice - moog source
David Phillips - dobro
VIETNAM
My time had come to go and I wanted to know what went on on the outside
so I enlisted for a tour in Ecuador I wish I'd studied Spanish more
I deplaned with a grin short on oxygen and a family took me in
I picked up broken Spanish splayed out in their hammock from dubbed dialogue
Pam Anderson's boss played by Hasselhoff taught me how to talk
and I got confident I walked with a certain bent and I made friends excellent
and we bused it to the coast and we danced salsa stoned in Esmeraldas
Mills enlisted so his time came to go it was Ontario or go
he crossed his first state line toe tapped to the time of his kick drum heart
and he landed in Chu Lai where he was assigned to Suicide Mike
welcome overseas here's an M-16 be all that you can be
military glamour throwin' down the hammer lets fuck some shit up
the smell of fear and sweat I don't want to die yet I'm as scared as scared can get
and a kill in Vietnam makes a single mom so if you see my boy
let him know he taught me love he taught me what is love
would you tell him he is loved
Derek Senn - vocals, acoustic guitar
Jason Slota - drums
John Vanderslice - mini moog
Ron Shelton - hammond a-100, grand piano, mini moog
David Phillips - pedal steel
THE BIKING FAMILY
I know this guy he sold his automobile and now he bikes everywhere
his daughter sits on the back and reads a book on the way to school
it's pretty cool and his wife rides beside them she pulls a dog in a trailer
I'd be at spinning class hauling ass and they'd pass by the window
and my ex used to say find more time for your boy and for me
I get my boy all day Sunday and Monday morning I drop him at school
he used to ride in the back playing apps tap tap tap on that app
and we'd pull up to the stoplight alongside the biking family
and eighty nine percent of what we had we did not need
and eighty nine percent of what I did was to get what we did not need
and so I sold the automobile and now we bike everywhere
my boy sits on the back and we chat on the way to school it's pretty cool
Derek Senn - vocals, acoustic guitar
Melanie Senn - vocals
Jason Slota - drums, surdo
John Vanderslice - moog source
David Phillips - pedal steel
SOUTH DAKOTA LADY
I heard her say on the radio I want heartland values extended to all
and after the fall of the secular state the stars all aligned in the perfect place
and she got her way hers was a cause celebre amongst those who never make mistakes in bed
Devona never saw the morality play it was hard enough to get to her job each day
she bused an hour to a quickie mart gig the neighbor kept a lazy eye on her four kids
the dads of whom were not exactly kicking down still she gave it up for them when they came around
kid number five she knew she couldn't have but heartland values said too fucking bad
pro life pro death penalty interesting philosophy
morality can be so cruel they'll put you on a pedestal then kick it out from under you
so this overzealous South Dakota lady flew Pierre to Colorado Springs
she went to receive an award of commendation from a mega mega mega mega church congregation
we thank thee for fighting for life's sanctity in your honor we planted a red delicious tree
so the unwanted kid had it bad born with a habit never could kick it
twenty three years of sordid details don't merit repeating but the last one does
because he was fixing for his latest fix when he hit up the grocery
she was there fresh from the ceremony cap in clerk cap in her cap in cash register
the clerk dies she survives he gets apprehended and she testifies
she says I was there I saw what he did and I want to see the motherfucker executed
such harsh words from a heartland wife hell bent on protecting the sanctity of life
well she gets her wish and sits in front of Devona whose offspring she legislated into being
and with the flick of a switch and an agonized shout she gets to see the sanctity of life snuffed out
pro life pro death penalty interesting philosophy
morality can be so cruel they'll put you on a pedestal then kick it out from under you
Derek Senn - vocals, acoustic guitar
Jason Slota - drums
Rob Shelton - rhodes, mini moog, farfisa compact deluxe
THE DRINKY DRINK
I love the drinky drink
The drinky drink makes my mouthy mouth water
the drinky drink makes my heady head pound harder
but only when I've had too much drinky drink
then I start to think that I don't want no more drinky drink
but my brain says it'll make me feel better
so let's have another drinky drink together
the drinky drink I love the drinky drink
everyday I sit and thinky think about my drinky drink
what's it gonna be tonight's drinky drink for me
my drinky drink will probably be fermented grape juice
I've got a hundred gallons sitting in my bedroom
or maybe Tyler Jones will send me the growler
of his darth delirium the gold medal winner
the drinky drink I love the drinky drink
I shudder to think what I would do without my drinky drink
If I was in a fundamentalist country my head would be chopped off by now
my grandpa's brandy still still might come in handy still
if them political fanaticals renew prohibition I'll be moonshining my drinky drink
I love the drinky drink I love the drinky drink
every time i drink the drinky drink it makes me wanna sing songs
and then I have a little smoky smoke and get a craving for ding dongs
I like to have the drinky drink each night with my dinner
and just for that the church across the street they're telling me I'm a sinner
because I love that drinky drink
I love the drinky drink
Derek Senn - vocals, guitar
Jason Slota - drums, xylophone
John Vanderslice - moog source
Rob Shelton - mini moog
she brings home the bacon she pays all the bills
I eat all the bacon I eat all the pills
she does all the cooking she does all the chores
I'm known for my past athleticism and my generous pours
and she could definitely do a lot better than me
bless her insecurity
yeah she could definitely do a lot better than me
bless her insecurity
I do all the shouting I throw all the plates
she does all the crying the make-up sex is great
she guarantees my bail bonds her kid's a goddamn saint
except when he's alone with me that's the only time he ain't
and she could definitely do a lot better than me
bless her insecurity
yeah she could definitely do a lot better than me
bless her insecurity
and I follow all those columns of advice
I'm pretty sure we've been featured at least once or twice
and they tell her that she could definitely do a lot better than me
yeah she could definitely do a lot better than me
bless her insecurity
bless her insecurity
Derek Senn - vocals, acoustic guitar
Rob Shelton - upright piano
Jason Slota - drums, tambourine, shaker
John Vanderslice - moog
Bohemian Girl
baby no need to update the kitchen
baby no need to upgrade the car
baby I'm just fine with our dinette set
but we could use a new guitar
and baby I'm ok with all the dry rot
and baby the roof leaks but we've got buckets
and baby we've got just enough money in the jam jar
to buy ourselves that new guitar
those highfalutin friends of yours are poisoning your mind
the house looks just fine
and you told me when I took you for my wife
I don't want stuff I want an interesting life
where in the world is the bohemian girl I fell for
I can mow the lawn or write a pop song
but you tell me it's not an either or
but then you tell me I can either mow or be a true troubadour
those highfalutin friends of yours are poisoning your mind
the yard looks just fine
where in the world is the bohemian girl I fell for
did she die with the adventurous guy you fell for
Derek Senn - vocals, acoustic guitar
Jon Monahan - electric guitar
Jason Slota - drums, shaker
John Vanderslice - moog
Downhill
baby baby you and me we better get some therapy
we're going downhill we're going downhill
whenever I catch you looking at me
you look like you don't like what you see
we're going downhill we're going downhill
and the only time you touch me is accidentally
we're going downhill we're going downhill
and every time I try to take you on a date
you suddenly don't feel so great
we're going downhill we're going downhill
and I'm losing hope in us I don't want to lose hope in us
I'm losing hope in us I don't want to lose hope in us
I'm losing hope in us I don't want to lose hope in us
I'm losing hope in us I don't want to lose hope in us
there's a white band where your ring was
are you giving it a suntan because we're going downhill
we're going downhill
and you used to be a sucker for a love scene
but now you just say a bunch of cynical things
we're going downhill we're going downhill
and the money we saved to go to Belize
is gonna get blown on attorneys fees
we're going downhill we're going downhill
and I'm losing hope in us I don't want to lose hope in us
I'm losing hope in us I don't want to lose hope in us
I'm losing hope in us I don't want to lose hope in us
but I've still got hope in use I hope you've still got hope in us...
Derek Senn - vocals, acoustic guitar
Jason Slota - surdo, clave
John Vanderslice - lark organ
Healthcare's Where
I'll support the bill to get you a gun and ship you to the invasion
to oust the regime we used to embrace
I'll miss disco night at the dictator's place
and I'll support the bill that will bust your wife for possession
and give her life
cuz one strike and you're out is the pledge I made
to slash the recidivism rate
and I trust the war industrial complex
to bring the pork that brings the jobs that brings the votes
and I trust the jail industrial complex
to bring the pork that brings the jobs that brings the votes
but healthcares where I draw the line
wars and jails I'll get behind
because I'm a defense hawk who's cruel on crime
and healthcare's where I draw the line
and I'll support the bill to get you a position at the brand new prison
guarding your wife
you'll get good benies or you could clerk at penny's
and suck on the socialist tit of affordable care
and I trust the jail industrial complex
to bring the pork that brings the jobs that brings the votes
and I trust the war industrial complex
to bring the port that brings the jobs that brings the votes
but healthcare's where I draw the line
where's the enemy? I need an enemy
because I'm a defense hawk who's cruel on crime
and healthcare's where I draw the line
Derek Senn - vocals, acoustic guitar, harmonica
Jon Monahan - electric guitar
Rob Shelton - upright piano, korg mono/poly synth
John Vanderslice - moog
Jason Slota - drums
Hell If I know
we used to wake up in the morning
climb to the summit and take in the valley below
and the last time we did that hell if I know
We used to wake before the sun
grab out guns and our suits and shoot out to the morro
and the last time we did that hell if I know
and we used to live check to check
blissfully unnerved by things economic
but now the dow industrial plunge
has got us feeling kind of nostalgic
for when we used to use bikes instead of a car
to get from here to there be it near or far
and the last time we did that hell if I know
and we used to wake up and kill the alarm
and see where things would go
and the last time we did that
the last time we did that
the last time we did that
hell if I know
Derek Senn - vocals, acoustic guitar
Jason Slota - drums, vibraphone, shaker
Rob Shelton - upright piano, korg mono/poly synth
Whoop de Do
I found her on a sunday just outside the sault
I christened her monday with a bottle of labatt's blue
and I tied her atop the grand marquis
we put in at the put in on the mississauga
we floated to the mouth nothing on the agenda
brewed a cup on a gravel bar black and a pack of splenda
and with a boulder in the bow she slices through a gale
I'll never get why they had her on closeout sale
my ADD brother well he's got one of them jet ski things
he says he can't get enough of the rush it brings
he burns through a tank carving figure 8's
he burns through a tank slicing up his wake
and the kids all clamor for a joyride with him
nobody clamors for her
and they're all sitting at the table swapping tales of derring-do
whoop de freakin do whoop de freakin do
whoop de freakin do whoop de freakin do
I love my canoe
Derek Senn - vocals, acoustic & electric guitar
Jason Slota - drums
Rob Shelton - korg mono/poly synth
John Vanderslice - moog
The Technological Breakthrough
And we agreed that the family needed to head north for a week or a few
and we agreed that we also needed to take a break from electronics
we read books took the time to cook we slept on the porch through electrical storms
I took the canoe on a ride with you through moonlit waters
and we agreed that the things we need are few
such were the conclusions we came to before getting back to living the way we usually do
and you and I used to rely on the postman to bring me your prose from Argentina
but it's been quite awhile since we've exchanged anything tactile
and I've still got all your perfumed letters stowed safely away
and you still write to me albeit electronically
but so matter of fact
and in a run on paragraph
never a salutation
slipshod punctuation
a pedestrian font
when yours is the only font I want
I long for your longhand ways
so for 50 weeks I'm going to wear my monkey suit in order to canoe the other two
and see that the things we need are few and take a break from electronics
and go skinny dipping after sipping spirits and harmonize on the porch through electrical storms
and take the canoe on a ride with you through moonlit waters
and write longhand letters the way we used to do before the technological breakthrough
will you write me like you used to before the technological breakthrough
before the technological breakthrough
Derek Senn - vocals, acoustic guitar
Jason Slota - drums
Jon Monahan - electric guitar
Rob Shelton - upright piano, moog
John Vanderslice - synthesizer
Sun Valley Sally
Sun Valley Sally queen of apres ski I met her back in '75 on chair 3
we had a superficial chat about the weather and that
and then I tendered an invite to visit my flat
and when the lifts closed we sniffed snow and we shut down the pio
Sun Valley Sally raised a pole to me at the base of the lift back in 1983
and me 41 wife and two stepsons I said hon I'm gonna sneak in one last run
and when the lifts closed we sniffed snow and we shut down the pio
and life gets away from you so you do what you've got to do
Sun valley Sally grand dame of apres ski fresh off a hysterectomy
and me thrice divorced married to my porsche fake hip fake knee just got a colonoscopy
yeah but I've got skills and little blue pills cuz you do what you've got to do
and Sally's crown has been passed to her heir at last yeah I guess she had a kid a few decades back
and I hear she's hot I think I'll give it a shot as soon as I confirm I'm not her daddy
and life gets away from you so you do what you've got to do
Derek Senn - vocals, acoustic guitar
Jason Slota - drums, shaker
Jon Monahan - acoustic guitar
John Vanderslice - crumar synth
James Riotto - piano
The Shit We Keep
Deep in my storage locker there is a popcorn popper underneath a box spring
I'm saving for the day I get a california king and there's a back up crock pot
do I really need aback up? probably not well maybe if I used a crock pot a lot
but I don't even use the crock pot I've already got
deep in my storage locker there is another popcorn popper
and popcorn is not even something I eat it gives my diverticulitis and it sticks in my teeth
but I can't pass up a screaming deal and this popcorn popper was a total steal
and they even threw in a free crock pot it's the back up to the back up to the one that I've got
and I store it next to an old banjo I bought at a garage sale about a decade ago
and it came with a banjo for dummies book maybe I will take it home and finally give it a look
no on second thought I'll keep it packed away and maybe revisit it when I'm old and gray
oh and hey I've got to stop by the office and pay my storage unit rent was due yesterday
let's see that's a late fee of twenty five bucks plus a hundred a month for storing my stuff
so what's a hundred times a hundred and nineteen months plus fifty late fees at twenty five bucks
aw but you can't put a price on memorabilia and that can't add up to much more than 2 or 3 grand for the shit we keep the shit we keep I spent the day with the shit we keep
the shit we keep the shit we keep I spent the day with the shit we keep
a paint roller a jogging stroller and nobody knows what's in store for their fates and I don't paint jog or procreate but I might one day and on that day I can say I'm gonna go to unit 543 today and I will open up the door and get what I need and maybe grab my vinyl version of let it bleed but then I'll have to grab my turntable too and fix the broken arm with super glue and I'll probably lose gumption but one of these days I might get the gumption so everything stays the ratty teddy bear the fisher price castle the extra long bong and the graduation tassel the old black light the dried boutonniere rose the reptile terrarium the pimp and ho clothes the vcr and the tae-bo tapes billy banks might yet get me in shape oh and hey I've got to stop by the office and pay my storage unit rent was due yesterday oh no wait I set it up so I would just get charged automatically on the credit card APR twenty seven percent but I will never pay a late fee ever again for the shit we keep the shit we keep I spent the day with the shit we keep.....
Derek Senn - vocals, acoustic guitar, harmonica
Jon Monahan - acoustic, electric, and bass guitar
John Vanderslice - electric guitar, synthesizer
Jason Slota - drums, triangle, all things shakable
Darlin' I'm Not Earning Enough
well yes I'm preoccupied the weight of our state is on my mind
I'm not inclined to trouble you with woe
so how to put it to you we've had a pretty good run hon'
but we can't keep on living like we do
cuz darlin' I'm not earnin' enough darlin' I'm not earnin' enough
darlin' I'm not earnin' enough we're in arrears dear on the house cars rv jet ski
cuz darlin I'm not earnin' enough
and I always tuned out grandma when she'd say sock some away for a rainy day
and now the rains coming down in torrents and sheets and there's no let up in sight
there's no foreseeable relief and when the money was good and the goods were for you
you said darlin' I'd live in a mud hit with you
well it's moving day my darlin' its moving time my dear cuz darlin' I'm not earnin' enough
so yes I'm preoccupied the weight of our state is on my mind I'm not inclined to find the silver lining
you're the one who seeks the sun keeps it light and makes it fun
help me make it through chapter 7 yeah help me make it through chapter 7
cuz darlin' I'm not earnin' enough darlin' I'm not earnin' enough darlin' I'm not earnin' enough
Derek Senn - vocals, acoustic guitars
Rob Shelton - upright piano
You Don't Know How Good You've Got It
you don't know how good you've got it no you don't know how good you've got it
take my word my word for it you don't know how good you've got it
there's nothing out there past the horizon that could top what you already have
so find a way to make it all work don't be beguiled by a new locale
cuz you don't know how good you've got it no you don't know how good you've got it
yeah take my word my word for it you don't know how good you've got it
well didn't you hear the one about the one who had it all then tossed it aside
to see the unknown he never made it home his whereabouts are still unknown
he probably died high up in the andes they say the air up there it mummifies
if you roll the dice well then at what price if you stumble home a broken man
cuz you don't know how good you've got it no you don't know how good you've got it
take my word my word for it you don't know how good you've got it
Derek Senn - vocals, acoustic & electric guitar
Jon Monahan - electric guitar, bass guitar
Rob Shelton - lark organ
Jason Slota - drums
Petit Telephone
telephono chiquitita ojala que me salves la vida
yo tengo mis canciones y nada mas
prende el boton en su grabador con cinta de dos pulgadas
salvame telephono chiquitita
petit telephono petit
petit telephono petit
telephono chiquititia you he puesto todo mi fe
en su proceso misterioso y antiquada
prende el boton en su grabador con cinta de dos pulgadas
te adoro telephono chiquitita
petit telephono petit
petit telephono petit
prende el boton en su grabador con cinta de dos pulgadas
salvame telephono chiquitita
salvame telephono chiquitita
Derek Senn - vocals, guitar
Laurence Wasser - Frenchman
Recorded and mixed April 12-21 2014 at Tiny Telephone, San Francisco, CA
Produced and Engineered by John Vanderslice
Assistant Engineer - Laurence Wasser
Mixed by James Riotto
Mastered by Jason Ward at Chicago Mastering Service, Chicago, Illinois
All songs ©Derek Senn/Rio Ciego Publishing (ASCAP). All Rights Reserved